Dec 15, 2018




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Isn't Cherishing a strategy we can use to bring our spouse to their glory.


What if we viewed our marriage as a separate entity? Much like a bank account. If we make deposits, then we have savings to draw on. But if we are continually making withdrawals, before long we will attempt to draw resources but have none.

Marriage is extremely delicate. Like a tender plant it does not take much for it to wither and die. God likens the wife as a tender vine (Psalm 128: 3). If you know a vine, all it needs to wilt is careless, inconsiderate treatment.


Consider your marriage as a separate entity. The marriage develops or is destroyed based on how its treated. It's understood. When we are dating, we fantasize that marriage will be a never-ending romantic journey where we are effortlessly sailing on a rosy bed of joyous ecstasy. How we imagine that this overpowering feeling of infatuation will permanently remain the pinnacle of marriage.


But we soon discover that the saying is true: To see somebody and live with them are two different things. The truth is that the period of infatuation usually last between 12 and 24 months. After that, we have to grapple with the reality of living with another person who is fundamentally different than ourselves in a number of areas. Someone who has been marinated differently, in that they come from different background and upbringing.


The words we speak, the behaviors we exhibit, impact our partner, and in reality, the marriage, for good or bad. Meeting this reality come as a shock to some, as the true nature of their character is revealed in a relationship that is meant to be permanent.

May I offer one simple, but life-saving formula? Make a commitment with your own soul that, "I will habituate my mind, discipline my thoughts, and harness my talents and resources to CHERISH my spouse. To do what's good for the marriage. To heap upon the object of my love whatever is needed to fill her/ his emotional bank account".


The gestures, the attention to details, the respectful responses to their attempt to connect. The anticipating of their needs even before the needs arise. The kind, gentle words that communicate affirmation and validation. The assisting with the house chores. The planned date nights and vacation away from the kids. The gifts that speak eloquently "I've been thinking of you". and the list goes on.


Consider marriage as a separate entity, and shower upon it what develops and NEVER what destroys it. Put a restarint upon your tongue. Commit that you'll never utter a negative word to your spouse, for this is a sure dynamite to annihilate what you intend to build. Take the security of this entity seriously. Guard it with all the strength of your being. Allow for no intrusion. No difficult in-laws or any third party whomever they may be.


Set a hedge around this sacred entity, as you invest time, talent and energy to embellish, nurture and develop it. It will not be long before you will admit, that cherishing is the best strategy to bring our spouse to their glory.

-To your success, Lloyd Allen

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  • For more information, visit website How are we marinating them? Marination is the process of soaking foods in a seasoned, often acidic, liquid before cooking. The technique of adding flavor by immersion in liquid. The kind of wife or husband we become depends on how we were marinated, except some overpowering influence intervened to change the natural outgrowth of our upbringing The good news is that, when the spirit of God enters our lives, every cutivated and hereditary tendency towards wrong can be overcome. The question under consideration today is, are we preparing our children to become great husbands and wives? How are we marinating them? What are the influences (ingredients) we throw around them, the immediate home atmosphere that we allow them to be raised in? Do we marinate them with power struggles, verbal, physical and emotional abuse. Name calling, infidelity to our spouse, expletives and unkind treatment of people? Whenever we exhibit a certain behavior in the presence of our children, let's ask, how are we marinating them? What kind of adults will they become. Will I be proud to 'give them away' as the bride or groom of another? If we desire our children to become a sweet smelling savor, and somebody else's "cup of tea", let us sweeten them with the healthiest ingredients.
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