HIS/ HER NEEDS

Marriage is about

meeting needs

Marriage essentially fail because needs have not been met.

Did you know that a major cause of divorce is a lack of knowledge regarding the spouse's needs?

Men and women are different, and so are their needs.

To meet your partner's needs, you must know what those needs are.

 

BOOK: Love, Sex and Relationship

 

Be careful whom you hook up with, whom you have children with. You could be laying the foundation of a life of trauma and endless pain. SHARED CUSTODY can be severely painful for mom/dad & child.

BOOK: Love, Sex and Relationship

 

Be careful whom you hook up with, whom you have children with. You could be laying the foundation of a life of trauma and endless pain. SHARED CUSTODY can be severely painful for mom/dad & child.

BOOK: Love, Sex and Relationship

 

Be careful whom you hook up with, whom you have children with. You could be laying the foundation of a life of trauma and endless pain. SHARED CUSTODY can be severely painful for mom/dad & child.

 

Understanding Expectations

It's not that you fight that matters, but how you fight

Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.

If our partner breaks these hidden rules then we feel disappointed and unloved. Conversely, we feel especially loved and validated when our partner does specific behaviors that resonate with your expectations

Unconscious role expectations have been hard-wired in us based on our upbringing (family of origin primarily), the media, friends, books we read, the church, etc.

Since our partner is not a mind-reader, they must be made aware of what these unconscious expectations are. This awareness is most effectively accomplished through effective communication.

Test your ability to effectively discuss expectations.

Along with your partner, Commence a discussion on the following "hidden rules'.

These are some common questions that formulate the unconscious expectations of most people 

There will always be unconscious expectations or hidden rules in a marriage. Your ability to have a successful marriage is determined by your ability to discuss and navigate these expectations effectively.

QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS:

There are two kinds of people in a relationship. There are the Disasters and the Masters of relationship. The MASTER OF RELATIONSHIP is always seeking for an opportunity to repair, heal and strengthen the relationship.

Ask your partner. Do you possess the disposition to be a Master of relationship- To repair the relationship when needed? DISCUSS! 

 
* What kind of parent will you be? Will you be a passive father? Will you assist with the discipline of the children?
* Who will work? 
 
* Will you assist with the house chores?
* How many children do you want?
* How much may I spend without your approval?
* Will you be obsessed about how long I speak to a friend?
* How will you deal with mis-understanding or disagreement?
* Who will initiate sex?
* Whose family will we be spending Thanksgiving/ Christmas with this year?
* How is the relationship with your mom, and dad?
* How do you deal with conflict? Do you shout and yell at the slightest misunderstanding or annoyance?
* Will you threaten to leave me if I refuse to be sexually intimate with you before marriage? Will you force me into sexual activity against your will?
* A question to ponder. Are you more concerned about my money and other physical assets  than my character?

* Will you work? 


* Who will manage the finances? 

 

* How will you deal with in-laws that try to meddle (difficult in-laws)? 

Will you have greater regard for me than your relatives/ In-laws? Will you choose me over your in-laws?

* Will you try to manipulate my time allocation for your family?

* How do you feel about my offering financial assistance to my family?

 

*  How do you communicate when annoyed? (Does he/she raise their voice or become verbally abusive?

Is he/she a narcissist? Do you know the signs?) If not, watch to this video clip. Derrick is on point here:

Life is a

One-time gift

Understand it &

Live it

 

GET CLARITY- People have different views of love.

You know your definition of love, but does your partner know what your expectations are?

The most important question you should ask your partner. Do you know how to show love to me?

 

Marriage.

 

Provide your info below and learn the following: 

 

  • How to talk so your spouse will listen

  • What to do when verbally or physically abuse

  • How to deal with sexual problems 

  • How to deal with the feeling of being trapped in a failing marriage 

  • What to do when your partner continues to cheat 

  •  

  • How to tame your spouse's tongue 

  •  

  • Why does my wife want me to help with house chores 

  •  

  • What are the fundamental needs of a woman 

  •  

  • What are the fundamental needs of a man

    & more